I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
