well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
