Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
