i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
