whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
