peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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