Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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