dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
