I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
