Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
