tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
