Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
