Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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