So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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