is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
