I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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