I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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