too bad you live with your parents still
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
