i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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