when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
