Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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