i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize