If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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