i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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