That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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