Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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