i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
my poor anus
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
