Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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