he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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