I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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