Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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