Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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