Well douche your snatch and let's go!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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