when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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