we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
