as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
