He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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