i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
