It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
