glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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