i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
