is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
