Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
