Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
