sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
