my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
