after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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