Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
