He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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