I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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