if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
