He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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