when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
