I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
