im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
