it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
