he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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