I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
