so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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