Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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