So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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