You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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