Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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